Lady Bugs and Jelly Beans, 
Hoboes and Tramps,
Cross-eyed Beetles and Bow-legged ants:
On this Thursday, a week from last Friday,
There was a ladies meeting for men only.
Admission is free, you pay at the door,
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
I come before you, I stand behind you,
I tell you something I know nothing about.
In the year 1842, Christopher Cucumber sailed the Missisloppy River.
In his right hand, he held the Star Spangled Banana,
In his left hand, he held the Declaration of Indigestion.

Now for the news...
One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back-to-back they faced each other
Pulled out thier swords and shot one another.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
Pulled out his pistol and stabbed the boys.
Now they live in the middle of the block
of an upstairs, of the downstairs of a vacant lot.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man, he saw it, too.